Got served with 4 NTE’s just a couple of hours ago. Obviously, my superior finally got fed up with my constant disappearing acts from work, hence the four “Love Letters” when I showed up today. I guess I should have been bothered... Four at a time is definitely Bad, with a capital B. Someone in their right mind would have probably explained their gut out, trying to appease the boss, or coming up with outlandish stories to validate the absences... But I guess my sane alter ego isn’t anywhere near the vicinity when she and I were talking. Instead, I got the papers, uttered a single “OK” and went out the door.
My father would probably kill me, when he finds out about this. This isn’t the kind of work ethics he had instilled in me. It’s shameful. Even I, reprimand myself for being unremorseful with my behavior. I guess this is really the proof that I have already reached my limit. When everyday you get up and you feel that you have to drag you ass just to come to work, it’s time that you consider leaving. And I have been feeling like that for quite some time now. The classic burn-out. Never had I imagined that the fever would get me but it did.
Don’t get me wrong though. I am not and will not justify my absences with the burn-out crap. That’s lame. At least I am gutsy enough to admit that I did not come to work because I chose to be somewhere else and do other things - which is exactly what I have written on my NTEs. My former TL would probably have my head with this and tell me to at least provide a better explanation, but I do not see the point of coming up with grandiose tales regarding my absence... After all, I am not justifying them. I am simply stating the reason why I wasn’t around.
Long ago, I made a promise with a former boss, that I will do well with my attendance and up until recently, I have kept my word. Azzi’s constant nagging about being a performer also solidified that resolve in keeping my record clean and I really feel bad that I failed to keep it. Dro, I am very sorry I didn’t keep my word.
Anyway, I only have two weeks left here... And to quote TL Cez, konting tiis na lang.. I’ll keep my fingers crossed that I survive...
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